WOW, We're Moving (On Up)...

OK, so, yeah, I sort of abandoned this blog a long time ago.  No particular reason, just didn't find the time to write any more.  Much has happened since July 9, 2012.  I have a job changing out computers for our regional healthcare giant and, oh yeah, Renee and I welcomed little Molly Grace into the world right at the tail end of 2012.  She's changed our lives immeasurably and is our joy, to be certain.  But I digress.  We're uprooting ourselves to go live in a grown-up house that's bigger and newer than where we live now.

So this is how it went down...

Just before Labor Day, Renee noticed a house for sale in her mom's neighborhood.  It caught her eye to the degree that she thought we should at least tour it to see if was as good as it looked in pictures.  We were already planning to move next spring, as our older house really isn't set up for a family of three that hopes to be a family of four someday.  The realtor who sold Renee's house prior to our marriage is also an longtime friend of hers so we enlisted her for help this time around.  The house turned out to be all Renee hoped it would be and more.  I accompanied her in the in the interest of being a good husband and a good sport, but didn't consider a move this fall to be a serious option.  My wife, however, was fully invested in the house and it soon became apparent  that we had a decision to make. 

(aside:  we also toured another house for sale in the neighborhood that same day.   The smell of cigarette smoke knocked us all over immediately upon entering the house.  I try to love everybody and not discriminate, but people, people, people, if you smoke, invest some cash in removing the smell before selling your home.  It makes a horrible first impression.)

Renee and I prayed and discussed trying to move this fall instead of next spring. A big CON to doing so, was that, well, our current house was not ready for sale just yet.  We came to the decision to go ahead and get the house ready for sale and try to get out this fall.  Interest rates are rising, and our daughter's amount of  "stuff" will rise with the coming of Christmas and her birthday soon after.  This would make it more difficult to sell next spring, anyway.  We reasoned that if God meant the house for us,  it would still be available when we were ready to sell.  We took a few weekends and I gussied up the exterior while my wife and her mom and sister worked on staging the interior just so.

Wouldn't you know "our house" went under contract on the Saturday that we were to tour it again! The price had been reduced since we saw it and that spurred heavier interest.  We were undeterred,  however, and determined to submit a back-up contract just encase anything happened with the first buyers.  Our house went on the market and had seven(!) showings in the first week alone.  All who saw it agreed that it would sell fast.  We continued to monitor realtor.com and other outlets for new listings.  Something popped up in a  nearby neighborhood and we toured it on a Friday night.  Alas, it turned out to be a real dud as its ultra-modern decor was too much for us.  All the while, we fervently prayed for God to help us be patient in the waiting.

"Our house"suddenly became available a couple of days later, out of the blue.  Big catch--BIG catch--the sellers had found a place of their own to buy.  Their contractual obligations necessitated us removing the contingency from our contract on their house.  Basically, we had to commit to buying without selling our house first.  Huge, huge risk.  Renee and I got another quick tour of the house, then went home and prayed over it.  We slept on it and in the morning agreed that God was in this and we would step out in faith that He would work things out.  Oh, and our Realtor was pretty darn confident that our house would sell fast.  I had invested much money in renovating my house during my 11 years of single man-hood and in the couple of years of married man-hood, my wife and I kept at it.

Fast-forward to this past Wednesday. I approved a request to show our house on Thursday evening.  Didn't think a thing about it.  On Thursday evening after a stir-fry dinner at the mother-in-law's house, our Realtor called to say that the people who saw the house would likely have a contract for us by the end of the evening.  An answer to prayers?  I had been cautiously optimistic that something would happen soon but was a good bit skeptical as well.  Well, she was right--contract came in at bedtime, a counteroffer was made and accepted yesterday.  We close this time next month (unless the inspection blows up our house...fingers crossed.)

So our faith has been stretched by this whole process.  Ultimately, it came down to "do we believe God or do we not?"  Is he who he said he is and would be in the scriptures or is he not?  Do we trust that he is in this process of uprooting ourselves and moving to a bigger place?   Our answer has been "yes!" and we think it will continue to be.  Our God is orchestrating our lives, folks.  Our job is to trust and get the #%$@ out of the way.

So in the past couple of weeks, I've bought and sold a house, and got off work one day in time to make it to my daughter's 9-month health checkup.

When did I grow up?

One Year Ago...

One year ago on this day I married Renee Simms. 

It was a Saturday last year, and I intentionally began the day as I would any other Saturday.  I woke early, had my usual time in the Scriptures, and then walked my dog.  I consumed my usual Eggo Blueberry waffles then cleaned myself up.  That is where the "usual routine" ended.  I jumped in my nearly-new SUV and headed up I-270 with a rented tuxedo and overnight bag stowed in the back.  My destination?  First Evangelical Free Church, where I dressed quickly and quietly in a children's Sunday school room.  Some of my closest male friends and family soon trickled in and did the same.  From here, well, you can figure out the end of the story.  Vows were said, rings were exchanged, and just before 1:00 p.m., I was a married man.

I must say, it's been quite the ride but I am secure in the knowledge that I am doing it with the one that the Creator picked out for me before Creation even happened.  Can't wrap my mind around that one, but that's beside the point.  To know that I'm with the one I'm supposed to be with is just so freeing, somehow.  We've enjoyed the highs and learned from the (surprisingly) few lows that we've experienced.  Our lives have definitely been enriched as we've grown individually and as a couple.  I personally have been stretched and challenged in ways I never could have imagined.  The transition to married life after a many years of single-ness was pretty much smooth.  The dreaded combining of households was no big deal.  I lost my job after 14 years in February and my wife has been my rock as I have navigated the choppy waters of unemployment.  We were pleasantly surprised to discover God had blessed us with pregnancy a few months ago.

So, as we begin our second year of marriage, we continue to look forward with faith to the future.  Our love for each other grows stronger every day and I can confidently say marriage is a good thing and I highly recommend it!

I Think I Can Finally Write About This...

(Disclaimer:  The following blog post is simply an account of a major event in my life and should in no way be construed as disparaging or abusive towards my former employer.)

"I'm sorry to inform you that your position has been eliminated and you are being laid off"

With those words, (or some approximation of them), 14 years and 5 months of employment at the Post-Dispatch came to an abrupt end.  I got the call on February 22, about 20 minutes after I got home from work.  My vice-president called me at home and asked me if I could talk.  I sat alone in our darkened bedroom and listened as he said the dreaded words in conjunction with something like "continued declining revenues".  He subsequently informed me that I had worked my last day and did not need to come to work the next day.  As he finished reading from what was likely a pre-written script, I tried to process what was happening.  An HR representative came on the line and gave me details of a severance package that would arrive overnight via FedEx.

So I then had to walk into the kitchen where my wife was preparing dinner and baking cookies and do the thing I swore to myself I'd never have to do:  inform my wife I'd lost my job.  She took the news well, with only a few tears shed.  I was far from blindsided by the call, but it's never easy to take.  Periodic layoffs had been a sad fact of life at the Post-Dispatch (P-D) for the last several years.  When one of my colleagues got caught up in a layoff late last Spring, I knew in my heart that I was no longer safe and the P-D was no longer a place where I could be employed for the duration of my working life.  (This assurance was issued to me by the man who hired me in 1997.  He himself had started at the P-D as a young man and retired not long after company was sold in 2005.)  I would have began looking for another job at that time, but I was busy preparing to get married to the love of my life.  I decided to ride things out for the rest of the summer and then get started on a job search in the fall.  Well, I got as far as asking for resume help from a career counselor, then didn't do anything more until January.  I did check the online job search web sites periodically, but never seriously considered taking action.

When January rolled around, I finally got serious about creating a resume and spent most Monday nights working on it.  (YES, I know I should have had that done years ago!)  By early February, a series of events led to it being in the hands of a recruiter at a local IT recruiting company.  President's Day found me sitting that company's meeting room talking to that recruiter and some of her co-workers.  It felt a bit strange doing so, since it had been 14+ years since I'd had to dance this dance.  I put on my best professional face and played the part of an IT professional looking to advance his career.  I thought everything went rather well and was optimistic about my future with them.

By the following Thursday, I was unemployed.

The Times Since...

Wow, yeah, it's dusty in here....

moving on.

When last I posted to this blog, the St. Louis Cardinals had just won the 2011 World Series and Renee and I were on top of the world.  Well, there was that little strep throat issue of hers immediately following the Series, but hey, that's why God invented antibiotics, right?  Don't give me that stuff about big bad money-grubbin' drug companies and their drugs that they recommend you ask your doctor about....

I digress.

The time since that time has been filled with the usuals of everyday life.  Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years were the big highlights.  Renee and I managed to spend just the right amount of time with both of our families.  New Year's Eve was spent with good friends and we then vaulted headlong into the new year.  When we discussed our goals for 2012, one thing we agreed on was that I needed to ramp up my previously tentative efforts to find a new job.  The writing had been on the wall for some time and I had read it but not taken much action.  My company was in dire financial straits and I didn't need or want to get caught up in what might happen as a result...

Well....

Four Months In...

...and we're still happy that we did the whole marriage thing.  Can you tell by the picture?  The occasion for this picture was Game 7 of the 2011 World Series, in which the Cardinals clinched their 11th World Championship.  We were there to see it and it was one of the happiest times of our marriage so far.

Renee is a long-time serious Cardinals fan.  I'm more of a casual fan, but Renee is the sort of fan  that gets tickets to any and all home playoff games the Cardinals play.  She has done this for many years.  When I married her, I married the St. Louis Cardinals.  Thus, we watched A LOT OF BASEBALL during the month of October.  The Cardinals just kept winning and winning and before we knew it, we were buying World Series tickets.

Seriously!  The Cardinals played in the World Series and won it in seven games.  We got engaged a few hours before we saw our first Cardinals spring training game on March 23 and we were together as a married couple at Busch on October 29 when they won it all.  When we watched the All Star Game from our honeymoon suite in Jamaica, how could we have known that the National League's gain of home field advantage via a win of that game would be such a big deal for us a few months later?  In between that beginning, middle, and end, we saw a lot of baseball.  The Cardinals played mostly average baseball this season and left us little hope of seeing them play in the postseason.

Surely you've heard the rest of the story by now.  The Cardinals had no hope of catching the Brewers in the NL Central division and their only hope was to catch the Braves for the wild card spot in the playoffs.  Well, the Braves collapsed, the Cardinals caught fire just at the right time to make up 10 1/2 games and won the wild card on the last day of the regular season.  Renee and I had attended the Cardinals' final home game on a sunny Sunday afternoon when we beat the Cubs in the bottom of the 9th.  I guess we should have sensed that something weird was going to happen but it still seemed unlikely that the Braves would continue to lose and let us in.  Yet, somehow, they did, and we found ourselves playing playoff baseball.

Again, you know the story.  The Cardinals beat the Phillies, Brewers, and Rangers in succession to gain their 11th World Series.  They overcame dominant starting pitching, dangerous power hitters, and periodic mental lapses along the way.  Each series was won in come-from-behind fashion.  Whitey Herzog offered this prophecy in a newspaper story prior to the World Series, "I think the Cardinals will win it all, but it will be a strange, strange Series."  How right he was.  How strange is it for a bullpen to send the wrong relief pitcher into a game?  After that happened to us in game 5 and the Rangers went on to defeat us to take a 3-2 series lead,  I declared the Cardinals dead in the water.  Renee restrained herself from throwing something at me.  How strange is it for a team to come back twice from two strikes down and then win a game on an extra-innings home run hit by a St. Louis native?  Renee and I saw it happen from the bleachers in game 6--we were there.  I in my rally cap as a result of the drunken urgings of people sitting near us.  Game 7--Renee and I were there in the bleachers, again.  It seemed so unreal, but yet, it was.  Allen Craig hauled in that final out and the unbelievable odyssey was complete.  A World Series parade capped a weekend of celebration on October 30, and manager Tony LaRussa retired the next day.  I've never seen a month of baseball like it in my life, and likely never will again.  I missed only two home playoff games, and Renee just missed one but we were together at Busch for all of the others and we made memories that will last a lifetime.

So it's now November and we've resumed our previously-scheduled lives, already in progress.  During Renee's annual family fish fry on October 29, we signed a contract with her cousin and his son to remodel the full bathroom in our house.  Suffice it to say, it needed it.  It's not been too much of a hassle to live with and it will be done by the end of this week.  We've enjoyed the process of choosing new colors and fixtures together.  We expect the end result to be quite pleasing.

A Month Later - Honeymoon and Post-Wedding Life Together...

Renee and I decided not to leave for our honeymoon on our wedding night. Who wants to rush around before the wedding trying to figure out how to pack for a week of vacation?  Rather, we stayed at a local hotel and came home the day after to open presents and pack our suitcases.  My parents had taken Chili-dog home with them after the wedding so we got to spend a nice dog-free day in the house by ourselves. 

(must pause here and extend a big thanks to my parents for taking care of Chili-dog while we were gone.   She had managed to cut her leg a week prior so she was wearing a cone collar while it healed.  It couldn't have been easy putting up with that!)

Our honeymoon destination was the all-inclusive Couples Sans Souci resort near Ocho Rios, Jamaica.  We flew down on a series of Delta jets the Monday after the wedding.  We had a very relaxing week there.  Our accommodations were wonderful, the food was excellent, and the beach was very beachy.   (traveler's tip - if you want ice-cold drinks like you are used to consuming in the USA, you MUST ask for a glass of ice with your drink - they will not serve it ice-cold.  It's a cultural thing.)  We enjoyed a free couples massage, a ziplining trip, and a trip to Dunn's River Falls--think Johnson's Shut-Ins on steroids.   Aside from that, we spent a lot of time in the water, both ocean and freshwater pools.  The resort itself was large and beautifully landscaped with lots of Mediterranean-like stone walls and walking paths.  We never felt crowded, however.   The resort was adults-only and we never had to fight for beach chairs or rafts.  We would definitely return in a heartbeat!

..................

So, post-wedding life.

It's been an interesting month as Renee and I have begun the process of figuring out life together.  We're fond of saying that we have the maturity as an older couple that a really young couple likely wouldn't have had, but we also have the challenge of combining our lives after 22 years of collective singleness.  Included in that is learning new rhythms of living, new ways of doing things.  It's been mostly smooth, with a few speed bumps and potholes along the way.  Some old habits of singleness have been hard to break.  We communicate really well, fortunately and are taking care to pray together as often as we can.  It's been a real blessing having Renee off from school since we've been married.  She has had lots of time to make my house into our home.  Things such as curtains and throw pillows have appeared in our bedroom and the guest bedroom, for example.  Both rooms now look like true bedrooms rather than just rooms with beds and furniture.  And it's been that way throughout the house.  I am so thankful that I have a wife with a good eye for style!  She returns to school this week so we'll soon find out how life goes with both of us working.

......................

To sum up - our wedding, reception and honeymoon went as well or better than we could've hoped.  We're an "us" now, living life together and looking forward with faith to the future.

A Month Later - Post-Ceremony and Reception...

Immediately following the ceremony, Renee and I adjourned to the activity center of the church.  Our "Quest" worship service is held there and it's the place we think of as our worship home.  We thought it fitting that to have some pictures there in front of the stone facing of the room's fake fireplace.  Our photographer (Lisa Jenkins of St. Louis Color Photography and LJ Photography) did a fabulous job of capturing our day, with the help of her assistant Debbie and a second photographer Rebecca(?).  She hustled us through the requisite family portraits in the main sanctuary shortly thereafter and soon we were en route to Old Hickory Golf Club for the reception.

(I must pause and mention that this is where I was so happy that I'd pulled the trigger on a new black Kia Sorento a few weeks earlier.  Didn't really want to ferry my new bride around in a beat-up Mazda6 sedan.  Thanks again, Zeiser Kia!)

Renee and I arrived at Old Hickory a little later than we'd planned, but we were met by a club official who had a golf cart waiting to taxi us up to the front door of the clubhouse.  I helped Renee into the cart, then I hopped behind the wheel and took off.  We walked inside the clubhouse and were met by our DJ, Jimmy "A Rockin' DJ" Hussey.  We'd never met him prior to the reception so we were a bit taken aback.  DJ procurement was completely my responsibility and I'd only had telephone conversations with him.  He got the wedding party lined up and then cued up the wedding reception standard, "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.  As the music pulsed, the wedding party was introduced pair by pair, then Renee and I entered the room to wild cheers and applause.  I couldn't help but pump my fist a couple of times as I lived the moment I'd been waiting for.

The reception pretty much flew by.  Renee's uncle Ed Smith prayed, then everyone ate lunch and cake.  Renee and I danced our first dance to Karrin Allyson's ravishing rendition of "Say It (Over and Over Again)"  I believe her version of this standard to be the definitive one and it was the perfect song to dance to.  Jimmy's slogan is "your music, your way" and he delivered just what I wanted.  I provided him a list of my favorite love songs and he picked and chose as he saw fit while drawing from his own library.  I highly recommend him.  Our flower girls and ring bearers found much joy in moving their little bodies to the music as Renee and I greeted our guests.  Time constraints prevented us from greeting everyone but we trust everyone had a good time.

I splurged on a room at the Four Seasons hotel on the riverfront for our wedding night.  It was a bit pricey, but definitely worth it.  We had a deluxe room with a great view of the Arch and St. Louis skyline.

A Month Later - The Ceremony...

I've been married a month now and it's pretty certain that Renee and I will be staying married for a good long while so I think I can safely deliver a bit of post-wedding reportage...

...........................

hardly seems possible, that over 4 weeks have passed since Renee and I stood before our God, family, and friends and said our vows.  The days since have been some of the most alternately exhilarating, relaxing, and overall life-changing that I've ever lived.

I gave up my single life forever at high noon on July 9 at First Evangelical Free Church.  It's the church where I've attended since June of 2001.  Renee began attending there late in 2007.  I don't remember speaking to her until we met at a friend's Super Bowl party in early 2008.  We'd met briefly at a mutual friend's wedding in 1998, but never met again afterwards.  Over time, in God's time, actually, we became friends and then, best friends, and then, husband and wife.  Our pastor Kevin Hughes performed the ceremony.  There was no one else who could've done it for us.  He pastors the "Quest" casual/contemporary worship service at FEFC that Renee and I attend.  We've grown to love him as a trusted pastor/teacher/counselor/all around good guy.  I wanted my former pastor Mike "if you boast, you roast" Goodwin to offer a welcome and opening prayer but he was unavailable the weekend of our ceremony.

Our wedding party came together nicely.  Renee chose her sister as her matron of honor and I chose my brother as best man.  My groomsmen were a couple of old friends and Renee's brother Rob.  She chose 3 of her closest friends as bridesmaids and her good friend Melody as her personal attendant.  We had a suitable contingent of adorable nieces and nephews to serve as flower girls and ring bearers.  Renee's college friend Paula provided piano music and our friends Kim and Luke were our singer/guitarist combo for the ceremony.   Our friend Ben is a video guru by trade so we asked him to film the ceremony, using what I thought would be my dinky Sony Handycam video camera.  To our surprise, he showed up with 2 professional-grade cameras and set one in the baptistry and one in the balcony.  To say we are grateful to him would be an understatement.

So, was I nervous?  I really wasn't, on the day of the ceremony.  A man's wedding day is obviously one of the most significant days of his life but I don't think I let that overwhelm me.  I was so confident in my heart that I had made the right decision to marry Renee that I honestly wasn't nervous.  At the rehearsal the night before, I did break down when I tried to introduce my groomsmen and again when I tried to thank some people at the dinner afterward.  I was initially embarrassed but was later encouraged by others' assertion that I was only expressing my true heart at those times.  The ceremony went off without a hitch.  There was the potential for significant hitch-age with the aforementioned flower girls and ring bearers.   Happily, they all proceeded down the aisle voluntarily and adorably.  I must also give a shout-out to our amazing wedding planner Kelli McGill who coordinated everything wonderfully.  I will always be grateful to her for going along with Renee's plan to give the church's gaudy brass candelabras a much-needed spray paint makeover so we could use them.

We included two songs, Phil Keaggy's beautiful wedding song "Here and Now" and the popular praise song "God Of Our Yesterdays."  The former I have known about for many years and knew it had to be in my wedding someday.  The latter is a favorite of Renee's that was played as we lit the unity candle.  We asked Pastor Kevin to speak from Ephesians 3:14-21, the prayer of the apostle Paul for the Ephesian church.  It's a favorite text of mine that I thought would clearly communicate our desire for our marriage and deliver the gospel message to our guests.  He delivered it beautifully.   I wore a lapel microphone for the first time in my life so our guests could hear Renee and I clearly.

And then, in a flash, it was over.  Pastor Kevin pronounced us husband and wife, then uttered his signature wedding phrase, "John, she's all yours, bro.  You can can kiss your bride"  I did so happily and that sealed the deal.  We were officially Mr. and Mrs. John Matlock!

One Month On...

It's been one month now.

Would I do it again?

You betcha...

Married...

(photo courtesy of my mom)

Yeah, we went and did it.  Renee and I were married at First Evangelical Free Church at high noon on July 9.  The rehearsal, wedding, reception, and honeymoon were one big grand slam home run.  Our many months of planning and praying culminated in so much wonderfulness!  Everything went just as well or better than we could have hoped.  We have returned from  our honeymoon and are now settling into married life.

(oh, and I have changed the title of this blog accordingly)

On My Wedding Day...

 They say that falling in love is wonderful, so wonderful...