Modern Manners...

Today's Miss Manners column was a doozy...witness:

Dear Miss Manners: What do you do when your only daughter has her mother (a redneck) escort her down the aisle instead of her living father? The mother is the force behind this.

As a young couple, the two divorced early. My brother went his way, and she did also. Over the years, he supported the child monetarily and not as much physically.

Her mother's side is more controlling. As aunt and uncles, we all sent gifts, but all went unrecognized. We have excused this with lack of manners from parents.

Should we lower ourselves as rednecks and take care of them in a restroom? Or pretend their actions are a slap in the face to our family, especially my brother, who did the best that he could as a young dad and adult? It leaves me to believe that they are vindictive and money grubbers.

Please help me understand their ignorance. Your comments and suggestions are important and much needed.

Gentle Reader: It strikes Miss Manners that what is needed is a security guard in the restrooms.

Her suggestion is that you all calm down and not hurl charges of ignorance (along with other insults) that could better be used against you.

Galling as you will find this, having the parent who actually reared the daughter give her away at her wedding is traditionally correct. With two parents in the house, it was the father, but the underlying idea was that the bride had been living under his protection, and he was about to transfer custody to the bridegroom.

Now we all know that today's bride does not care to consider herself in need of either such protection. But if she likes the anachronistic custom, she need not scurry to find a male to do it. In the absence of a custodial father, the mother is not an improper choice.

(I added the bold and italics)